Sunday, 15 April 2012

Due processes

It is only a couple of weeks since my return from the trip to Italy. It seems like the twinkling of an eye, but also like a stretched out piece of time. My daughter has been here with her two children. The house has felt very full. It was very full. All the beds were being used, there was stuff everywhere, the TV and  DVDs in constant use, large, medium and small pieces of plasticine everywhere, half a roll of masking tape was used to add variations to different pieces of toy weaponry. Lots of child-minding, all sorts of expeditions going on.

We had a very quiet Easter. I still do not have an oven, and am waiting for a quote from the local shop for a replacement. I had to cook Easter dinner in the electric frypan, which is not really very satisfactory. We made up for this with delicious Easter eggs, and also  some excellent gelati.

We went to Cockatoo Island, which their mother and I enjoyed, but the children liked it much less. You'd think that old construction sheds, shipbuilding facilities, slipways, rickety looking stairs to climb, tunnels to go through, and fabulous views of the harbour should have elicited more excitement than it did. We decided to catch the next ferry back, but the grizzling dawdlers caused us to miss it by about half a minute, and thus we had another hour to kill. This was mostly spent in throwing food to all the seagulls. How did seagulls cope before tourists supplied their every need?

We went to various parks, and have been into the city in search of a sonic screwdriver. Eventually we had to go to Ultimo to find this, and happily, success crowned our efforts.

When we got home, there was a message from the lawyer to say that the transmission of the house to my ownership has gone through, and that should be the end of all that. It is a great relief. None the less, that night I had a few sleepless hours, feeling angry, sad, and bitter that I have had to endure all this struggle. However, as time passes, these feelings should diminish, and I will be able to overcome the bad experiences, and rebuild my life.

Another communication came, via my lawyer, from the other side, forwarding a bill. Little things enrage me - in this case having them refer to me by my given name instead of by title (Ms) and surname. Bloody cheek, I think.

During the week, I went to the crematorium, and now have half of Dr P's ashes, which I will scatter in due course. It feels as though this is something which I should do alone, and with which I should not burden others. I am also giving thought to having the remaining ashes placed in a niche with a commemorative plaque - and feel that this should list his children. I cannot bear to have any communication with them, and evidently they wish none with me, but given that their father was a public figure, this much is owed.

I do what I think should be done.


Elephant's Child said...

I am so glad that the transmission of the house to your ownership has gone through. A huge hurdle cleared. I love your idea of placing half of Dr P's ashes in a niche and admire the generosity of spirit which feels that his children should be listed on the commemorative plaque.
Doing what you think should be done, is sometimes quite difficult.

molly said...

No matter how angry they make you, you seem to instinctively do the right thing....Bravo!

ChrisB said...

Well done you!! Another big step towards getting on with your life, lifting some of that heavy load and once you have done the commemorative plaque you should be able to have some peace at last...You are a real trouper x

Relatively Retiring said...

I'm so glad to see that one by one these huge issues are being resolved, and I admire your determination to do the right thing.

VioletSky said...

You are a woman of words... I am sure you can make the plaque delicately read the love lost between father and children.

And I am so glad that every time you come home, it is indeed your home!