Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Fill in the blanks - Parting is such sweet......

They have gone. I survived. A combination of trips elsewhere, plus my usual activities, and a few carefully designed others. No further crises, and even perhaps a slight thaw. Offering to take 12 year old step-grandchild to the Harry Potter film (offer declined), making them pikelets for afternoon tea, and demonstrating and explaining cumquat marmalade making to her as well may have resulted in half a brownie point. I ensured that there was time and opportunity for the WSD and family to visit without my contaminating presence, and gave them space. Mind you, it might not have been appreciated, even by Dr P, who is likely to regard it as my being inhospitable, but the main point is that they had the time together, I survived it, and no further conversations took place. When they were leaving today, we kissed each other goodbye - precipitated by WSD blowing me a kiss (she gets half a brownie point for that), and my awareness that if I kissed the others and not her, it would NOT have been a good thing! I kept my cool, despite my inner turmoil, and held fast to my resolution. It has not been an easy time.

I wonder though. They must have noticed how bad Dr P's memory has become, as he kept asking them the same questions and forgetting the answers, and how much more feeble he is. And how dependent he is on me. Very little communication takes place. I feel very daunted. I wonder do they feel the same way?

I went to a concert with a friend on Sunday - we had arranged to do so weeks ago, as we were both members of this choir, and left, separately, when we could no longer abide the tantrums of our young genius conductor. When I got home I found furniture had been moved, even the chest of drawers in my bedroom, and cupboard doors had been opened and things disturbed. I freaked out a bit, my suspicious and paranoid nature leaping to wild conclusions, but it turned out the children had been playing hidey in the house. I don't think they should have done it, nor left me to move it all back again, but I bit my tongue and said nothing. And went to bed with my headache.

I had a migraine on Sunday, probably due to the fact that the young men living opposite had a party in their back yard on Saturday night, and it kept going until 3 am. As parties go it was not too bad, but the music and conversation were too loud for me to sleep. That relentless thump thump thump backing destroys any chance of peaceful slumber. I tossed and turned, thinking that surely they must stop soon. Finally I got up, put a jacket on, walked downstairs, outside and across the road, and asked them to stop in ten minutes, or I would call the police. The young men were apologetic, and it all wound down shortly afterwards, but I do find it hard being assertive like that. The migraine is still hanging around. Consequently I am not feeling kindly towards Dr P, who could have been more supportive overall. An arm around me, a hug, and some expression of appreciation or encouragement would not have gone astray. It is likely that the other side of the family will be visiting shortly, so Dr P will have that to cope with! Seems fair.

After God made Man, God had a good hard look at him, and decided to make a few fundamental design improvements to humanity. And so God created Woman. Weren't they lucky!


Frogdancer said...

All of that sort of stuff is really draining.

A bit of R and R is in order now, I think!

Pam said...

A blown kiss is better than nothing.

You sound as if you behaved very well.

I suggest a cup of tea, a bit of chocolate and a nice bath.

Rhubarb Whine said...

Gosh, I hope you get to take some time just for you, now. A little pamper just for you. Wish I could organise it for you!

Meggie said...

I know that feeling of wanting a little support- even brush or a smile. You did very well.
Pity the noisy party added to your headache.