Saturday 13 April 2013

Bad Guest....

How things have changed! Good manners in particular!

I am spitting chips tonight. My daughter and granddaughter are staying here, and so are friends of hers. She asked could they stay here, and I agreed.

They all went off to the races. I decided to cook a curry for dinner, on the basis that it would be ready any time, and could wait the hour of their arrival. I had bought the lamb yesterday, and had said to my daughter that I would cook a curry. While they were all at the races I prepared all the ingredients, and this afternoon set about cooking it. It is quite a lot of work but I did not mind that. The cat miaowed eagerly and gobbled up all the trimmings from the meat.

And I even made a dessert - a quince and apple crumble, with the apples and quince carefully separated from each other.

However, in the late afternoon I reminded my daughter that I had cooked the curry. Oh! she said. Her friend's husband does not eat curry. They would get something else for him.  I told my daughter that this was the height of bad manners, incredibly rude. And I still think so. When they arrived back here, I suggested we all go out to dinner so that each of us could choose our meal. Oh No, said the females, we want the curry. And so we ate here, at the dining table.

Now comes that awful phrase - When I was young....

When I was young, if you were a guest in someone's house, you ate what was put in front of you. It was unthinkable to knock something back. It would have been incredibly bad manners, an insult to your hosts. You would have forced it down, eaten it and thanked your host politely for all the trouble they had taken to accommodate and feed you. Otherwise your parents would have thumped you, well and truly, and given you lectures on the insult caused by your refusing your host's food.

But no. Much better to buy two frozen meat pies, to be reheated in the microwave oven. and then to sit at the table, contributing nothing to the conversation.

The guests would not realise this, but since Dr P's death I have done hardly any cooking. Just the simplest of things. Nothing that involves a lot of preparation and planning. Of course, they don't know that, but I went to a lot of trouble over that rejected meal, and that should have been obvious.  I feel as though this man has spat in my face. I think his wife was very embarrassed, but not a word from her husband.

Now I am still seething away and indulging in a little fantasy, in which they buy me flowers in appreciation of my hospitality. Oh No, I could say. I hate roses...


5 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

A very, very bad guest. I was also brought up to believe that you ate everything put in front of you - and thanked your hosts. Even if you disliked it. Allergies would have given an out - but I didn't know anyone with food allergies. Is it just me or are they much more common that they were?
And I do hope you had some left-overs so that you could have a treat WITHOUT rude guests to annoy you.

Stomper Girl said...

So if someone made me a mushroom risotto and custard dessert, I would have to eat it, or you would have thumped me? If he provided his own meat pie so you weren't put to any more trouble, surely he's made a polite attempt to deal with the situation? And his silence may have been embarrassment, not lack of manners. I'm sure the others appreciated your wonderful cooking, and his punishment was eating frozen meat pies (yuck!) while everyone else had a fabulous meal.

persiflage said...

No, Stomper, if I were cooking for you I would not serve you food I know you dislike, and nor would I expect you to eat it. What I would expect is that if you were a guest in the house of a total stranger who was giving you hospitality you would either advise any problems with different foods in advance, or otherwise have eaten whatever had been prepared. I repeat: it was very rude.

However, I stand rebuked, and will henceforth make detailed enquiries about food sensitivities before offering anyone the use of my humble abode. Having had to cope with numerous vegetarians in the past, obviously I should have known better.

Jan said...

I hate kidney and remember before being married that ex-husband's grandmother made steak and kidney. Not in suet pastry or anything, just steak and kidney. She was a terrible cook, heating frankfurts was really about her limit and this steak and kidney was badly prepared with huge chunks of kidney. I ate the meat but had problems with the kidney. I swallowed most of the pieces whole. Flavour was to me terrible but the pieces were truly awful. They went down.

My mother would have been horrified had I left any pieces on my plate.

Zenom said...

Don't be so harsh Mum, it was a communication error. Culinary peculiarities are also not now bound to the etiquette of yore