EEK, ERK, YUK!

All is not well at Casa Persiflage. We have been invaded. Evidently rats have been visiting us. Shades of 1984 and Room 101. I have never had rats before, although years ago we had periodic invasions of field mice, which we managed to overcome by means of cats and traps. But RATS! Sheer horror  filled my innermost and sensitive soul.

One morning last week I came downstairs to find a loaf of raisin bread had been gnawed - plastic bag, and all. The next night there were pieces of the lid of a plastic container scattered about the bench, and there were further attempts the following nights. I taped up a gap in the laundry wall, where the hot water pipe goes through, but the invasions continued. Dr P and I, united in fear and loathing, agreed that a pest exterminator must be summonsed forthwith, and forthwith turned out to be yesterday. I was away for the weekend, but on my return found rat droppings on the stairs and in various other places. Erk! While away, I bought more plastic storage containers and glass jars, and spent yesterday morning making sure that nothing in the pantry could be got at by moths, cockroaches, mice, rats, or by any other creature or beastie. I tell you, the wildlife in this city is extremely varied, not very lovable, and evidently came across with the First Fleet.

When the rat man came, it turned out that this house lacks a manhole (but evidently not a rat hole) and he could not work out where the rats were managing to enter. So, at further expense, he laid a bait trap, which is sitting behind the dishwasher, and we are to wait and see. This morning I found more rat droppings. All of this aroused even more feverish hunting for means of ingress. Late this afternoon I discovered that Dr P's wheat bag was full of chewed holes and that there was wheat scattered about. The bag was made of heavy fabric, and it is not pleasant  to think of those teeth at work. Into the bin with the wheat bag!

This afternoon, while relentlessly and anxiously prowling around the house, it suddenly occurred to me to check the surrounds of the flue of the wood heater, which we have never used.  Yes! Yet another of the slapdash, careless and inexpert tradesmen who built this house had cut out an oversize hole for the flue,  and there was enough space there for creatures to get in - and (I hope) out.

I got to work again with the duct tape, and hope that no more evil creatures will get in. Then I will hire someone to come and seal off these holes permanently. Avaunt, you blind and malign fates.