Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Being kind to Dr P

I softened. Dr P is playing bridge today, and did not want to drive there. He is feeling too old and not confident any more. I gave in and took him there, because he is old and feeble, and does not get out a lot these days. I have been out a lot recently, what with all the choir practice, etcetera, and felt I should be amenable to his requests. But I don't want to have to spend too much time chauffering him around. I batted away all the comments about my under-used TomTom. It is under-used because I seldom go anywhere that I do not know the way to. Sydney geography and traffic are loathsome. They are so unforgiving. A friend is driving him home, so I don't have to make two trips. Just as well. 

This was my first trip to this location. After I dropped him, I turned on the TomTom but turned left too early, or something, and before I knew it I was on a huge road without exits, through bushland, which sure enough was leading me towards TUNNELS (aarrgghh) and the Harbour Bridge (nearly as many aarrgghhs). Not feeling confident about getting into or off the dreaded tunnel, I turned into the first available little street, and consulted the street directory as well as the TomTom. Of course I was miles out of my way, and when I found my way I backtracked so as to go the way I knew. I know I am a sook about driving in Sydney and struggle personfully to overcome my phobias, but I could do with fewer sneers from Dr P (who is himself afraid of flying). Many times, it seems, he makes himself feel good by denigrating others, and sometimes it makes me feel like hitting him on the head with a frying pan. Softly, of course.

Naturally this all took time, and so I missed the time which would have been dedicated to having a swim. I am waiting for a phone call from one of my sisters, so if I get out for a swim it will be late in the day and the pool will doubtless be filled with many heaving and splashing bodies, which I will have to dodge. And quite possibly I may lose the impetus to get out there and swim.

Tuesday is my free day, and I wanted to use it for computer work, transferring information, doing some tidying up, and preparing for the busy days of Wednesday and Thursday. I have to read some Dante, put the sheets back on the single beds before SD3 arrives. The other appealing thing about a free day is being able to spend it exactly as the mood strikes you. I wish I could just decide to comply with requests and not feel grumpy about it all.

As it is, I now feel as though I want to eat fried Vietnamese spring rolls, icecream, cake, chips, nuts and biscuits, and to have a cappuccino. I will settle for the cappuccino.

When I was thinking in yesterday's post about the toxic effects of bad relationships, I forgot to mention an interview by Margaret Throsby the other week with a specialist on aggression. He mentioned the aggression of excluding people. This, in my experience, was a large part of the problem with the WSD. It turns you into a non-person, and is very hard to counter. Unless you withdraw, which is what I did, but it does not really work. Countering this is something else I need to think about and learn.

Having let off steam, I will now turn to more pleasant and relaxing pursuits.

5 comments:

meggie said...

We do need outlets for our steam, don't we!
I had a stepdaughter once, she was very young & her mother had remarried when I met her. We were great friends, but she died when she was 16.
I too hate Sydney traffic, & you are much braver than me, driving about anywhere down there!

Relatively Retiring said...

I'm sorry that the week doesn't seem to be improving so far....but I hope you have a virtuous glow over being kind.

Blue Mountains Mary said...

I persevered with the tom tom and now find I can drive anywhere in Sydney - and not being from here originally I too was absolutely terrified....

persiflage said...

Actually yesterday I had an even more disastrous episode of being lost, but at least the TomTom helped me get there eventually. I worked out my original error, but not any of the subsequent ones. At such times I wonder whether the brain is not functioning at all well....

Molly said...

I so hear you about people who make themselves feel superior by putting others down! I often itch to hit my FIL over the head with a frying pan, and not so softly either! You'd think by your mid eighties you could chill a little and let others feel good, once in a while, without always being compelled to show how you are better, smarter,cleverer, whatever. My most fervent wish for old age is to be able to keep my mouth tightly shut if I have nothing good or pleasant to say!

Sympathies on all that gruesome vandalism....Art? My foot!