Tuesday, 17 March 2009
Being kind to Dr P
I softened. Dr P is playing bridge today, and did not want to drive there. He is feeling too old and not confident any more. I gave in and took him there, because he is old and feeble, and does not get out a lot these days. I have been out a lot recently, what with all the choir practice, etcetera, and felt I should be amenable to his requests. But I don't want to have to spend too much time chauffering him around. I batted away all the comments about my under-used TomTom. It is under-used because I seldom go anywhere that I do not know the way to. Sydney geography and traffic are loathsome. They are so unforgiving. A friend is driving him home, so I don't have to make two trips. Just as well.
This was my first trip to this location. After I dropped him, I turned on the TomTom but turned left too early, or something, and before I knew it I was on a huge road without exits, through bushland, which sure enough was leading me towards TUNNELS (aarrgghh) and the Harbour Bridge (nearly as many aarrgghhs). Not feeling confident about getting into or off the dreaded tunnel, I turned into the first available little street, and consulted the street directory as well as the TomTom. Of course I was miles out of my way, and when I found my way I backtracked so as to go the way I knew. I know I am a sook about driving in Sydney and struggle personfully to overcome my phobias, but I could do with fewer sneers from Dr P (who is himself afraid of flying). Many times, it seems, he makes himself feel good by denigrating others, and sometimes it makes me feel like hitting him on the head with a frying pan. Softly, of course.
Naturally this all took time, and so I missed the time which would have been dedicated to having a swim. I am waiting for a phone call from one of my sisters, so if I get out for a swim it will be late in the day and the pool will doubtless be filled with many heaving and splashing bodies, which I will have to dodge. And quite possibly I may lose the impetus to get out there and swim.
Tuesday is my free day, and I wanted to use it for computer work, transferring information, doing some tidying up, and preparing for the busy days of Wednesday and Thursday. I have to read some Dante, put the sheets back on the single beds before SD3 arrives. The other appealing thing about a free day is being able to spend it exactly as the mood strikes you. I wish I could just decide to comply with requests and not feel grumpy about it all.
As it is, I now feel as though I want to eat fried Vietnamese spring rolls, icecream, cake, chips, nuts and biscuits, and to have a cappuccino. I will settle for the cappuccino.
When I was thinking in yesterday's post about the toxic effects of bad relationships, I forgot to mention an interview by Margaret Throsby the other week with a specialist on aggression. He mentioned the aggression of excluding people. This, in my experience, was a large part of the problem with the WSD. It turns you into a non-person, and is very hard to counter. Unless you withdraw, which is what I did, but it does not really work. Countering this is something else I need to think about and learn.
Having let off steam, I will now turn to more pleasant and relaxing pursuits.