Friday, 11 April 2014

Seven, but now six

Today I got the news that my older sister was close to death. She suffered from Lewy Body Syndrome, which is a form of dementia, affecting both mental and physical capacity. She had been in hospital for a number of years. She died this morning.

She was two years older than me, and was bright and active. She was good at music and very good at art. She married a farmer and lived on the farm until hospitalised because of her illness. Four children were born. The youngest died from a tragic accident, and although in her forties, she gave birth to another son, a darling child.

 Some years ago she became ill. She kept falling, and hallucinated. She knew something was seriously wrong, and eventually got the correct diagnosis. Eventually she was hospitalised, and her condition worsened. There is no treatment, no cure.

 I had not seen her for a couple of years. She visited here a couple of years before Dr P's death and we did touristy things, and went to the opera together. I thought at that stage we were becoming closer.  I travelled to celebrate her 70th birthday, a few months early, but could not join the family for her golden wedding anniversary, having just come out of hospital  for the insertion of the pacemaker. So I feel the loss. But I feel full of sadness and regrets.

It has not hit me yet. I think she did not like me very much. Probably there was jealousy, and sibling rivalry. She was the only person I know who has known me for all my life. But I feel quite numb. Sad, but not really feeling.

4 comments:

Isabelle said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. Maybe it's harder when you feel something can never be resolved. Thinking of you. x

Gillie said...

I am so sorry, sending love x

Elephant's Child said...

I am so sorry. A world diminished. Hugs.

VioletSky said...

So sorry for your loss. Sometimes, what we we miss more is what might have been but never was.