Saturday, 25 January 2014

A post before bed

Here I sit at the computer, listening to Ian Bostridge sing Schubert. An Die Musik is the track playing right now. So beautiful: it goes straight to the heartstrings. Music brings me such joy, such pleasure, and so many emotions. I can never have too much music.

It is very quiet tonight. My son, his children and my daughter have all departed, and my other daughter arrives tomorrow for a few days. I am glad to have their love, help and support. (They were very bossy. Talk about role reversal!) But I am trying to get back to being a functioning human being, even though for the next few weeks I will be limited in what I can do.

The shoulder and the afflicted part are still sore and rather painful, and I may not lift my arm above my shoulder. This makes getting dressed and undressed a little tricky, and loose fitting clothes are easier to get on and off. I fear that I will be wearing the same things for some weeks to come. But I can manage to fasten a necklace.

The pacemaker seems to kick in quite frequently, and it seems it could take a while before I get used to it, or for things to settle down. It feels as though I am having panic attacks. This is what the isolated occurrences felt like too, so that I kept asking myself why I felt as though I was in a panic, knowing perfectly well that I was not. I feel somewhat fuzzy mentally, which might in part be a reaction to all the drama and to the anaesthetic. Better to have this problem rather than something nasty in the brain.

My daughter saw a couple of my neighbours and let them know of my problems, so they both called across this evening to see how I was. Very kind and nice people, they are.

It will be interesting managing without a car for the next month. I don't drive very often, as so many shops and services are local, and mostly I walk or travel by bus. But I might have to miss choir for a few weeks, as it is located on the other side of the city, and I'd have to get there and back by bus and train. I expect it will all work out.



5 comments:

Frances said...

yolk segainWhat an ordeal you have been through, Persiflage. And how well you are handling it,though there may well be aftershocks I imagine.
Do you meditate? Evidently, and this is in no way a call to religion, evidently prayer works like a mantra for those of us who find meditation eludes them, who need calm, and who as ex catholic school girls have quite a few prayers in memory banks. My very best wishes to you.

Frances said...

yolk segain - well, that was my not my addition - rather, my efforts to prove that I'm not a robot.

persiflage said...

Thanks Frances. I hate those robot things, which are so difficult to decipher. Makes you feel sorry for the real robots...

persiflage said...

Thanks Frances. I hate those robot things, which are so difficult to decipher. Makes you feel sorry for the real robots...

Isabelle said...

Well, I'm very glad to "see" you back again. Hooray for doctors. I hope you soon feel back to normal.