Monday, 2 November 2009

Things up with which I will not put

Mondays are not always the best day of the week. Often I go to a music discussion group. Dr P often plays bridge. As he does not drive often these days, he is usually given a lift, but not always. On those days I get called to duty. Usually I don't mind, but I do not want to have to do it every week, as my group finishes before his, and I have to hang around. I also often give a lift to one of the men attending the group, whose wife usually has to rush off for more musical duties. They live across the road, and they give me lifts home from concerts from time to time, so it is an arrangement of mutual convenience and helpfulness.

The premises where Dr P plays bridge does not have a lift, and the stairs are steep and difficult. So I take Dr P around the back where there is a ramp. I drove to the ramp area, with my passenger chatting away, and waited and waited. Finally I went back around the front and there was Dr P, with other elderly persons hovering anxiously about him, and he was absolutely livid at having had to wait, and quite abusive, not only because of the misunderstanding about the pick-up point, but also because he had worn a belt which was too loose and his trousers were falling off him. This too was all my fault because I never buy him a belt which is the right size.

Had we been by ourselves I could have dealt with it, but with another person in the car, who is only a casual friend, it was very awkward and unpleasant, and I am still feeling cranky. Having our imperfections both individually and as a couple thus exposed is horrid and embarrassing. I am prepared to take responsibility for my own mistakes and shortcomings, (although occasionally this can take a while) but to be blamed for things such as his choice of a loose belt made me, in my turn, livid. It can be difficult living with a person who never accepts blame or responsibility. Especially because basically I try so hard to be a good person, and to do the right thing, and I have a strong sense of justice. Thus I flare up when an unjust or baseless accusation is made against me.

When Dr P has calmed down I will take all the belts to the nice shoe repairer down the road and get more holes put in them. I have not quite calmed down yet, so it will not be done tomorrow.

Why are stupid things like this so infuriatingly annoying to all concerned?

Anyway I do think I am getting better at handling such contretemps, thanks to all the how to de-angst sessions I have had. I have become more positive and assertive. Part of me feels cross because in fact we have been getting on quite happily and pleasantly.

Tomorrow SD3 arrives for the day, before flying off to her beach house down the coast. So there will be a family lunch somewhere.

As one of the Italian classes is tomorrow afternoon, and it is my turn to present the argomento, I used up all my steam in writing it. The topic is not Music, Steam, Belts, or Pick - Up Points, but the Melbourne Cup. There was a lot of vocabulary to look up. Despite my racing-mad daughter and her photographic talents, little information about a) horses, and b) racing stays in my mind, so I had to look it all up on the Internet. I can say definitely that there is no horse running called Mea Culpa.


molly said...

Oh, just pick a belt, any belt, and give the old codger forty lashes with it. Maybe he'll swell up enough that his trousers will be held in place until you feel like getting those additional holes made! Women don't go around blaming others for problems they caused themselves, so why do men think it's ok to do so?

Laura Jane said...

Perhaps one or two of the belts could be wrapped TWICE around his neck, if tied firmly enough, or if you get the bootmaker to put a few more holes in each one.


Kidding.....but tempting.

Sigh. We hear you. And sympathise.

Meggie said...

I have seconded Molly! I had a very happy vision of you whisking the belt off his trousers, & walloping him soundly!
Where do men get the arrogance gene from!