activities, such as Italian, choir, lecures and seeing friends, In between, I organise my life, tidying, organising, shopping and seeing friends. It is as though these things convince me that I am in control of my life, and that I can pursue a well-ordered existence. This is, of course, a nonsense. Life cannot be thus ordered.
But being in your own home with your own things, does give the illusion of choice. You can potter around, organising the books, the correspondence, the kitchen, the pantry, you can make jam if the fruit of choice is in season. This is a bit of a nonsense, as when you live by yourself,you cannot possibly consume all the jam that you make. So you give it away, and you can also hoard in case the cumquat supply is destroyed (it has been) or there is a sudden surge in consumption). But how much home made jam can you eat in a week?
Yes, living alone can be pretty pathetic. But when there is a family call on your help and your time, it can be difficult to respond effectively. So here I am in my daughter' home, minding her two children for five days, and filling my time can be perplexing. I am not into electronic gadgets or toys, nor into extensive TV. So I tend to tidy them up. And I go into the garden and pull out weeds, and prune the roses. Now there is a contradiction. I have never grown roses successfully, but here I am pruning. These weeds tend to be the type that have runners and very strong survival habits. Single parents don't have the time to worry about the garden in rented houses. So a bit of weed eradication seems a smallish contribution to making life easier. But I am not able to mow the grass.
I have been tidying up my granddaughter's bedroom, which is quite a a large task. Perhaps I will move on to my grandson's room next. He will be thrilled. His mother will be thrilled too. Tomorrow I hope to see my son and his boys, but he has been stricken by a dreaded lurgy. While the children are at school I hope to see some friends, and keep the warmth of old friendships well noursished.